Safe Luxury

Hilarious Dark Knight Opening Spoof part 2!?

They stare at him, strangely. He just smirks a little in return wearing his mask. Cut: Ext. Bank Entrance The car pulls up to the front entrance and the group hurriedly exits the car, carrying their bags. CLOWN #1- Let's do this, fellas. (pulls out his machine gun) Quickly, the other clowns pull out their automatic weapons. Seeing this, the man opens his bag and pulls out...a large purplish super-soaker. CLOWN #3- Holy crap! Is that a fucking water gun? MAN- Yeah...so I thought maybe we'd celebrate later. Got a problem? CLOWN #1- Okay, go! Holding their guns up, they open the door and enter the bank. While running, they fire into the air while yelling at costumers. CLOWN #2- Alright, everybody get down! Hit the floor, right now! CLOWN #1 Listen to the man! You won't be hu- (crashes into a nearby column) Oh, shit. Three and two run up to some of the bank teller desks and grab various screaming workers. Quickly, they pull some over their desks to the floor. CLOWN #3- Let's go, shut up! LADY WORKER- (screaming) Ahhh, please no! I'm only white and married, I don't deserve this! CLOWN #2- Yeah, times change bitch! Shut up! They go up to another desk and grab another person, only it's Michael Mann the director of Heat. CLOWN #3- On the flo- hey, wait a minute. Aren't you Michael Mann? MICHAEL MANN- (scared) Uh, yes...I am. I just wanted to stop by and see how things are going on this bank scene. Didn't I tell you that using my scene from Heat would give your film more credability? CLOWN #1- (walking up, holding his head) Well, this IS directly ripping off your film, right? MICHAEL MANN- Sure, but I mean you know how things are these days. People are always gonna copy off of other movies cause they just tend to not think with originality any more. Am I right, guys? CLOWN #2- (thinking) Yeah, you do have a point there. Some of them agree. MICHAEL MANN- Hey, thanks for let- (gets shot in the face) CLOWN #1- He ain't the director in this one. (laughs) Now, hit the vault! Two and three head for the vault room with their bags. Clown 1 walks up to a nearby desk counter and points his gun at a screaming teller. CLOWN #1- Listen up, lady. Give me all your money in the register, now! LADY- (sceaming) Please god! Nooooo! CLOWN #1- Do it, or I'll blow your head off! LADY- (quietly laughting) Oh no, not that. It's just that we only have bills in 5's and my boyfriend dumped me today. Show a little symphathy, will you? He starts to feel a little sorry for her, while holding his gun. Clown #1- (apologizing) Oh...er, I'm sorry to hear that, lady. How about you just give me whatever you got? The teller looks at him, then begins taking money out of the register. Clown #1- (thinking she thought he meant something else) Oh, no. No, I didn't mean it like that. LADY- (giving him money offended) Oh, I know EXACTLY what you meant! You sick clown-fuck! You ain't taking what I'm shaking here, mmmhhhmmm She throws the money at him and punches him in the face, and he collapses. CLOWN #1- But lady....I- LADY- Now leave me alone while I watch Dancing with the Stars! (turns to tv eating popcorn and a redbull) Hurt, 1 walks off depressed carrying his bag of money. Cut to: Int. Vault Room We see 2 and 3 trying to open the vault. 2 is using a large safe-cracker device to scan for the right combo. CLOWN #3- Will you hurry it up? CLOWN #2- I'm trying, but this thing is too damn tough to break. CLOWN #3- Uh, that's cause you're using it backwards. CLOWN #2- (realizing) Oh shit. You're right, thanks. (turns the device around) CLOWN #3- So, have you heard of this guy called the Joker? Hearing this, 2 turns his head while working and thinking about it. CLOWN #2- Uh, actually I have. Supposedly, he's like this psychotic criminal who wears makeup all the time and rambles on about being better than everyone else, even though he's the one with issues. And then he causes chaos around the city to make himself feel better when his precious shares go under at the stock market. Plus, he always wears these ridiculous purple clothes to remind people that homosexual freedom of speech is important these days. Hell, I think HE might be the reason this movie is so freaking successful! CLOWN #3- Wow, I never knew there's someone in this city cooler than us. I mean, let's face it we're just henchmen. They both stop to ponder about this, but then continue. CLOWN #2- Yeah, I'm gonna be a little richer since that dude who's with us told me to kill you before I'm done here. (laughs) I mean what kind of crap is that, man? CLOWN #3- (looking up strangely) Really? Cause funny you should mention that, he told me the exact same thing about you. Man, that shit is weird. CLOWN #2- Well, if you really think about it...killing each other would guarantee that he would get most of the cash, right? CLOWN #3- Oh sh CLOWN #3- Oh shit, you're right. But how long do we have until that DOES happen? CLOWN #2- Uh, I think we have only like a minute left anyways, so- (pulls out gun) CLOWN #3- (Dissappointed) Son of a bitch man! I really wanted to buy my dad Rock Band 2. He pulls out his, and they both fire at each other until neither is moving.

Public Comments

1. im not reading all that
2. wtf? okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
3. What's the question?