Safe Luxury

I'm back with another song! This one's a bit different?

Hi guys, it's Andrew again. Here's another song by me. BTW I do write happier songs, but I really want some feedback on these lyrics. This song was written as the second part of a quartet of songs. The quartet is about the decline of civilization in a revolution. The first song is about the beginning of the revolution, setting the stage for what's to come. The second song (this one) focuses in on a soldier who joins the army, not knowig what he's getting into, and his thoughts right before the battle. The third song is basically the battle itself, and the fourth song is the soldier's death and final journey. This song musically is in the metal genre, but not extremely heavy, more iron maiden-esque than anything else. If you want to hear the other songs in the quartet, just say so on the comments and I will do so. This song is copyrighted 2009 by me. The Deep Breath Before the Plunge (Inhale) Time has slowed, vision's faded Life's flashin' before my eyes I stand here and ask myself Am I really ready to die? We stand here on brink of war Many dead, killed by us as well Hours left till I know no more Soon enough I'll see these men in hell *Chorus* My stomach churns, as I realize Into the depths of hell I lunge So if I am 'bout to die I take a long, deep, breath before the plunge Face is numb, throat is burning Why did I ever leave? My warm, safe, home that I am yearning Fear rises, I start to grieve Should these be my final words Ever heard upon this precious Earth I should want my friends to know I think of them before I go *Chorus* *Musical interlude/ Solos* *Chorus* The commander yells, It's time to run Will I live to see the setting sun? Now I'm certain my life is done, Into the final battle I run This song is longer than it looks when you add in the guitar and music, in the end it clocks in at about six minutes. Please leave feedback, I'd love to hear your comments.

Public Comments

1. yawn
2. WOW I actually really like it!!! :) Are you in a band or do you just write the music?
3. you sound like a really optimistic person :D
4. pretty damn good if you ask me.. send a link over once you have made the entire song... with the music... id love to hear it
5. cool i like it keep it up!
6. i absolutely love it, would really like to hear it with the music !!!!!!!!! u are really talented
7. it feels a lil cliche
8. i LOVE this part: Face is numb, throat is burning Why did I ever leave? My warm, safe, home that I am yearning Fear rises, I start to grieve Maybe it should be your chorus.
9. i love it really i do i especially love this line The commander yells, It's time to run Will I live to see the setting sun? Now I'm certain my life is done, Into the final battle I run and i love this line too Should these be my final words Ever heard upon this precious Earth I should want my friends to know I think of them before I go and this one too Face is numb, throat is burning Why did I ever leave? My warm, safe, home that I am yearning Fear rises, I start to grieve i love the whole song, it's fantastic, i definetly want to hear more from you.