Safe Luxury

This is a public service announcement on ways to keep your homes safe this summer?

Hello there, so as you all know, summer is officially upon us, and with that comes an increase in home and auto thefts. The increase in heat usually brings the ghetto blacks out of their little homes and into the streets, where they will most likely be loud, ask for money, and take things that do not belong to them, so here are some ways you can have a fun summer while keeping your belongings and yourselves safe. 1. At night, bring in all you lawn furniture and bird feeders (these are getting top dollar at pawn shops and are a hot theft item right now) 2. Chain up ll bicycles and make sure your garage is closed and locked. Lock your vehicle doors and park close to your home or under a street light. 3. Lock all your windows and doors, especially after sunset (this is crucial) 4. Do not cook any sort of soul or southern foods, especially after sunset. This includes chicken, collard greens, cornbread, or sweet potatoes. Blacks have a high sense of smell and if downwind, they could smell what your cookin and come lookin. 5. Post some job applications up in your neighborhood, better safe than sorry right? 6. Have a police siren recorded and ready in your CD or DVD player at all times 7. Do not venture out after dark unless you really have to. The cover of night allows for the blacks to be swift and sneaky. Your wallet is there one minute, the next..........its gone. It can happen that quickly. 8. If you hear rap music, ebonics, or smell the aroma of hair glue, do not hesitate to phone us, the police right away. Thats all for now, please contact us for any questions or concerns. We have put a few more patrols out at night and have are eyes and ears open for any signs of foul play. Please enjoy yourselves and here is to a safe and happy summer. And please remember, Never.........trust a big butt and a smile.

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