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My mom has me so angry I can't see straight, advice (very long)?

About two years ago, my dad was in an accident. He was in a coma for a month, had about 10 surgeries, and was in an unstable state but finally he has reached a stable state where he can come home. He is unfortunately a paraplegic now (paralyzed from mid-back down). Anyway, it was his fault so our insurance paid for everything and his insurance also has given him a couple lump sums of money to help set up the house for his new needs. I'd say altogether we've gotten about $45,000 for all his injuries, surgeries, and such. He also was forced into an early retirement and now gets a combined amount of $1,800 a month. The lump sums of money were put into my moms account for "safe-keeping," and also to pay bills and rent for the house. Also for her living expenses (even though she has a job) Over time, it went unnoticed because my brother and I were at school and my dad was in the hospital, she has slowly gambled it away. Literally, almost about $20,000 of it is gone. We know she gambled it away because all the bills were behind and on disconnects, she admitted to it, and she hocked some of our possessions unknowingly. Also, her paychecks were all used gambling too. She wrote my dad a note saying this. She said, "It's a horrible addiction, but it's the only thing that stops me from being so depressed and missing you." For the record, before this accident my parents were fighting so much they were on the brink of a divorce. They were barely in the same room as eachother. Also, she was suppose to be in charge of getting the house ready for my dad (building a ramp, cleaning it up, making space). She took off TWO months of unpaid leave to do this and I've seen nothing. The ramp isn't built and my dad was suppose to come home this week. However, I just found out via her facebook-- no she didn't call me-- that my dad is being moved to Chicago for exploratory surgery by neurologists. I am very excited about this but had to find out by the internet. I called my dad and he filled me in. I feel like she is ruining everything, not just for the overall family, but for my dad who needed someone there. I was only 19 when this happened, and couldn't take over the funds. I am so mad. She has called/texted me about 5 times today and I am ignoring it. I am so fed up. I just want to scream. She is my mom, I love her, she brought me into this world, but a MOTHER doesn't do that to her FAMILY. I want to confront her but my dad said not to because she has nervous breakdowns. I am scared she would go crazy and do something stupid. I don't know how my dad does it. She hocked her wedding band. She spent his money that was suppose to go toward handicap accessibility stuff. Please tell me what I should do, because at this second I am about to just never talk to her again. No one on my dad side, her side, or her friends know this. Just my dad, my brother and I and my dad said don't say anything. I am not the type to keep quiet. And then people have commented on this status saying, "Oh, you are such a strong woman, wife and mother for making it through this," "(dad's name) should feel so proud to have you as a wife." I am just sitting here with my hands shaking in rage. I don't know whether I should be hurt or angry.

Public Comments

1. First of all, I am sorry about your dad. Hopefully he will becoming home soon. I think your mother is very hurt. Which shows, that even though they were about to get a divorce, she loves him. Try to help her. Comfort her, and help build the ramp. She gambled so much because people seem to do that in hard times. Look after her awhile, and try to get her to stop gambling. GL!
2. Well I was in a phys. rehab and couldn't help, (I broke my femur so for a long time I was immobilized). My girlfriend found a church group to help her get a ramp built. As far as what to do about your mom, I'd say do what you feel, but discuss it with your dad..