Safe Luxury

I edited a little part from my story, is this okay?

really, if you don't know my story Eric is an abusive foster father, Dani has asthma, and Alli speaks her mind which gets her introuble all the time. but she means well. ... Also, THIS IS NOT THE START TO MY BOOK. It's like the middle of the second chapter... Later, Eric came home looking exhausted like usual. As soon as he walked in the door I ran upstairs. The last thing I needed was for him to take his hard day at work out on me. Once I was safe in my room I pulled my journal out from my nightstand and opened it up. Suddenly I heard yells erupt from the kitchen followed by a loud crash. I ran down the stairs and noticed Dani on the floor. She was gasping for air and her eyes were pleading. "Dad....Please!" "Fine, you want it?" Eric tossed her inhaler across the room and all hope drained out of Dani's eyes. "Go get it." "What the hell is wrong with you?!" I shrieked. I ran to the inhaler and brought it back to Dani. "Here, you're okay now." I assured her. Tears welled up in my eyes seeing my best friend on the brink of death, again. Even though Eric was a monster, he never went far enough to kill anyone. In a way it was almost like he had limits, then again the only reason he kept Dani alive was so he could have the pleasure of torturing her some more later on. If she was killed, he would lose the precious power he had over her. My thoughts were interrupted when suddenly, Eric grabbed my arm and pulled me off of the floor. "What do you think you're doing?!" He yelled in my ear. I struggled in his arms but he wouldn't let me go. "I'm helping my friend you sick bastard! She could have died because of you!" I winced in pain as his grip around me tightened. He held me against the counter. I glanced over his shoulder and could see Dani who was breathing normally again but stayed on the floor. She looked at me in horror not knowing what to do. "Run." I mouthed. She quietly lifted her body off the floor and ran upstairs. Eric was too preoccupied to notice. The expression on his face was unreadable. He looked like he was ready to kill me and he looked happy about it. "Get the hell off me." I said through clenched teeth. "Wow," he said with an evil grin. "You really should watch your language. You may come across as a bitch." Just like that the grin was gone and his hand moved from my shoulder to my throat. He pushed me down so my whole upper body was pressed against the granite countertop. His grip on my throat made it hard to breath. Suddenly he stretched his arm to reach something behind my head near the sink. At first I thought it was going to be a knife. Instead, it was a bottle of dish soap. I looked at him while fighting to break free but nothing worked. I tried kicking him and I missed. With each attempt to escape, his hold on me got stronger. "What are you doing?" I whispered. My eyes were watering and he snickered. "Cleaning that dirty mouth of yours." I pressed my lips tightly together and tears ran down m cheeks. Eric's eyebrows furrowed as he continued trying to open my mouth. When that failed he set the bottle on the counter and pressed his fingers into my skin. The pain intensified with each passing minute until finally I let out a pained cry. Eric grinned obviously proud of himself and shoved the bottle into my throat. I tried screaming as the bitter, slimy liquid filled my mouth, causing my eyes and nose to burn. Finally after what seemed like hours, he set the bottle down. "I hope you learned a lesson baby girl." He chuckled and let me go. I turned around and leaned against the sink trying to spit out all the dish soap. I heard Eric's footsteps fade as he left the room. Most of the soap was gone but the gagging continued. The taste was still fresh on my tongue making my stomach churn. Suddenly I felt someone holding my hair back as I retched into the sink.

Public Comments

1. that was really good, no lie!!!! it was awesome!!!